Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I have aggressive nipples.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
