he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
