four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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