i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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