...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
