I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
