i just google imaged poop.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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