well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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