That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
