dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
