i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
