Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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