Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She bit a glass in half.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
third nipple confirmed
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize