The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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