Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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