Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
