Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
it hurts more in the daytime
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize