So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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