Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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