we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
