I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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