i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
