i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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