I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
