you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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