You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
