I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
