That's when you crack a 10am beer
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
