Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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