Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
