Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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