You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I want her autograph on my taint
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
