Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
