Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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