i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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