this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
