i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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