Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
