so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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