Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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