Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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