Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
