i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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