you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Randomize
