Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
