wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
