i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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