I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
