Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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