Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
