am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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