Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
