she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
