if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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