Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
