i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
