It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
