You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
not ubering you a puppy
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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