Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Found your dick twin last night
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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