I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
