What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
