stop calling my apartment porn island.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I can't put those talents on a resume
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
