Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Blow job season was short but glorious.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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