MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize