She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
