how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
