He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
