apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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