At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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