Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He felt like a one man threesome
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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