You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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