dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
